Tuesday, August 12, 2008


i was just thinking about teeth
they are incredibly strange
i was looking at my baby brother's teeth and they're so small
isn't it weird that they come out and grow back in bigger? no other bones or body parts do that
if they stayed small people would look so weird
if they initially grew in big it would be weird also
and then we mess with them so much so that they look perfect, but they're just bones. i like it when peoples' teeth are a little funny.
it's just odd to me what a huge deal teeth are, and people don't ever really think about them, but they do.
i'm actually just procrastinating writing an autobiography for my cosmetology school application because i have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT TO PUT IN IT and i'm amazing at distracting myself.
i finished chapter 1 of civilization and its discontents


gross, yo

Saturday, August 9, 2008




reading freud
reminds me so much of my state of mind when i was first learning this stuff. it's intense. separation between ego and object, stuff like that. i forgot about all that. i was living IN those concepts when i first learned them. i know many people are opposed to freud's views, but i think it's mainly that they are intimidated by how much he uses sexuality in relation to things we consider to be 'normal'. but isn't sexuality normal? this is why i like him so much. he acknowledges that humans, no matter how mentally capable we are, are animals.
he relates an 'oceanic feeling' (such as love, religion, etc...) to object rather than ego. ego would be one's PERSONAL experience, how one's mind views things. object is anything outside one's ego, basically. so this oceanic feeling is when the line between ego and object can no longer be distinguished, such as when one is in love, or relating to a higher being, or in any other state of not being able to separate the two.
i'm not even finished with the first chapter of the book where i'm learning this. it's crazy. i love it though.

what else is happenin....?
i hate cats!!! i had an allergic reaction to a cat the other day, and i freaked out because i was prettymuch positive it was strep throat, so i went to my doctor and was on the verge of tears, just to find out i'm just EXTREMELEY allergic to stupid fucking cats!!!!! man, i hate cats.

nothing else is too new. my life is in a grey area right now, i'm not sure if i like that. i'm working on it though.